Caregiver Information: Parents resisting the care they need...what to do?



Many of the calls we receive concerning care for a loved one is expressed to our staff by mom/dad is very upset with the idea of needing a caregiver, they are refusing help but they aren't safe alone. I am afraid to schedule care because they may not let the caregiver in or after a short amount of time tell them to go home. I work, take care of my family and just can't give them the attention that they need. I am exhausted and tired, what can I do to get my parents to try working with a caregiver?


As our parent age we walk a fine line between making sure that they are safe and taken care of and taking away their pride and independence. We are suddenly in a position of making sure the environment is safe and also respecting their choices and decisions that they are able to make. Many times the resistance to having help is due to anger and disheartenment at the loss of independence and health.


The approach that has worked best for us over the past 27 years is talking to your parent about setting up a service that will handle the daily chores that take away from them spending time doing things they enjoy. For example, suggest Homemaking Services like laundry, light housekeeping, and meals instead of suggesting they need a caregiver to take care of their personal needs. We know from experience that once we have selected the caregiver with the personality traits and skill level needed, the client will begin to form a bond and a personal relationship of trust with their caregiver. Once the bond and trust begin the resistance to have help involving personal care is no longer something that is dreaded or refused.


When setting up a meeting to talk to your parents it is best to focus on what they can still do, not what they can't do. Always encourage your parents to continue doing what they can and accept help with the tasks they can't or are more difficult for them to do.


Where do you turn when a loved one needs more than you can manage on your own? What do you do when some of the care alternatives seem like a complication rather than a solution? Consult Atlanta's most trusted source for quality Home Care since 1994, Easy Living Services. Flexible care plans designed to guarantee safety, comfort, personal care and attention. Call us at 770-442-8664

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